I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
