I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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