when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
did i just pee glitter
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
