i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
