It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
