I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
