Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
