Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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