just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
