she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
