Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
