Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
