So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
as a side note pls kill me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
