there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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