yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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