I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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