Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
