He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
