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  • I'm gonna walk and get in, cause no body trusts a runner

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 14, 09 at 3:45am
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  • I'm going with run and get out now people...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 9:27pm
    99 121
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  • I just hope he was drunk or something when he said it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 2:32pm
    103 129
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  • id eat the corn out of your shit just to see where it came from

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 1:17pm
    101 126
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  • awww thats cute:). keeper

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 12:48pm
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  • There's no way your worth even 1/4 of that. Dolphin offin' is a lot of work. And I think he's stealing that line from the movie "Bio-Dome" just tweaked it a little.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 1:01pm
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  • I like how people bitch about the people who are bitching. Idiots.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 3:28pm
    88 117
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  • i'm def. using that line this weekend

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 2:28pm
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  • Bio-Dome is an AWESOME movie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 1:09pm
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  • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i liked the last one. dumbasses.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 3:46pm
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  • I love dolphins. No, I LOVE dolphins. In that way.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 12:51pm
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  • bwahahahahaha... love the sarcasm.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 1:28am
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  • That is dedication. Take it in only the best way.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 13, 09 at 2:16am
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  • well I would like it more if there were midgets involved

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 3:57pm
    77 117
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  • You all are strange peoples.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 3:59pm
    80 129
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  • jeaze people take things way too seriously, why read this website if you take every text so seriously?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 2:03pm
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  • only if that is a dinner where a defenseless animal was killed in order to feed us.......

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 1:49pm
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  • Nothing like killing helpless animals to express your desire to be with someone - i see a basement and a bottle of lotion in your future.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 12:45pm
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  • there's this thing called sarcasm.... and unfortunately it doesn't read as well as it sounds.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 6:26pm
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  • It's a sad, sad day when a man has to kill a defenseless animal in order to get with someone... wouldn't it be cheaper and less difficult to just oh I don't know, buy her flowers and take her out to dinner?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 1:47pm
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  • yeah, well....i would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear you fart through a walkie-talkie

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 12:52pm
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  • if only killing animal activists wasn't a crime......I guarantee the poor defensless animals would be safer

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 12:55pm
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  • Bahahahahaha!!!! Just read 12:52, dunno why but I lol'd

    Submitted by Laurennniscool on Oct 6, 10 at 1:29am
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  • I'd fuck a polar bear in his ass if you would be part of our threesome!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 1:40pm
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  • hahaha 2:08 agreeeeeed

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 2:41pm
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  • ... But Arkansas doesn't even have dolphins, meaning he'd have to go SUPER out of his way. so it's kinda sweet

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 2:08pm
    75 156
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  • why is nobody laughing at 12:52...?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 4:36pm
    70 152
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  • He uses that line on all the ladies...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 1:15pm
    80 177
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  • Tony Hayward?

    Submitted by anonymous8889 on Aug 7, 10 at 7:40pm
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  • 3:28... you're doing the same thing. Dumbass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 3:32pm
    73 166
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  • 2:03PM....agreed! WTF people, it was a joke. and 2:32...the whole point of this site is to post funny texts from drunk people!!! Is it going to be like this all summer now that school's out???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 12, 09 at 3:24pm
    70 170
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