You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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