Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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