They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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