My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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