i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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