If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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