just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
