dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
