I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
