Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
