sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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