You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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