it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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