All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
