I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
