Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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