Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
