def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
