Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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