I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
