Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
