i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
