I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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