I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
