I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
