sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
