just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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