NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
