Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
