I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Randomize
