I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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