guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
