Having a random hookup so left but love u
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
